Thank God For Seattle Sports Fans

Readers, an interesting thought occurred to me over the Memorial Day Weekend. I was in Seattle on assignment to review a show at 5th Avenue Theater, and during my off-time I thought it be nice to do some shopping. Walking past the city's famous 2-story Niketown, I was horrified by the overwhelming amount of decoration outside the building commemorating the return of Ken Griffey Jr. to the Seattle Mariners. I mean, it was disgusting. Everything in the store had been replaced with something bearing likeness to Griffey's face. My point is, they were really, really excited.

Now this got me thinking, why? What's the big deal Mariners? In the current professional sports era, high profile players switch cities as often as The Real World. And then it hit me: Seattle sports fans are friggin' desperate.



Seattle Mariners- Consistently dissappoint. In 2008, the Mariners were the first team in Major League history to lose over 100 games with a $100 million dollar payroll. This year isn't looking much better. In their 32 years of existence, they have NEVER made it past the ALCS.

Seattle Seahawks- Consistently dissapoint. Fans rejoice in 2006 when the Gulls make their first Superbowl in franchise history, only to get played by Pittsburgh like some kind of schoolyard bitch. Things were so dismal after last season's 4-12 finish, Mike Holmgren jumped ship.

Seattle Supersonics- No longer exist. Franchise up and left for Oklahoma City after a 20-62 showing in 2008. No one seemed to notice.

What a sad, sad place to be. The town's only professional sports championship (unless you count the WNBA) was nabbed by the Sonics in 1979. That's thirty years of failure, US Men's Olympic Soccer can barely lay claim to that.

And the worst part about it? Things aren't looking like they're getting any better. In fact, morale is still dropping, and I don't think the rain has anything to do with it. The Mariners are 3rd in the AL West and Griffey is batting .218. My advice? Make friends with your kindered spirit Cleveland before LeBron finally brings them a trophy, ya sorry bastards.

Alright Free Pizza:
Considering that the Emerald City may be recieving a new basketball franchise sometime soon, what would your plans be for them? Give me names, colors, mascots, uniforms, anything you've got.

Marveling in the endurance of the human spirit,
Open Bar