(We're experienced in the art of "Marry One, Fornicate With One (what, should I have used the actual word when so many academic blogging circles are watching? I'd be crucified.), Kill One." It's time to pick from...let's say Cloris Leachman, Lee Meriweather, and Rue McClanahan. Shoot.)
Ohhhhh...you kidding? Really? Free Pizza, what the hell are you trying to do to me?
As easy and honest as it would be to say I'd roger 'em all roundly, I guess that ruins the game.
Here goes nothing:
First of all, I can't lose two Golden Girls in one week, so Rue stays alive, and I'm friggin' marrying her.
Cloris, you're eighty-two years old, and I still have to smoke a cigarette after every time I see you on TV. Please, please, please do me.
And Lee...oh Lee, look, I'm sorry. It's not that you don't give me a hard-on like Franco Columbu's forearm, it's more that I want to bang Blanche and Frau a smidgen more. I'm sorry.
Wondering why Free Pizza tortures me so,
Open Bar
Oh, and Bea...thank you for being a friend.
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